At the moment, I’m with my family in Moorea, an absolutely stunning island in French Polynesia. Yesterday, we swam with whales. I still can’t believe it.
And speaking of family time…
I received an email from the leader of a big company in Romania. He reacted to one of my previous blog posts – the one about resetting your personality.
If you remember, I suggested that every evening, when you finish work and before getting home, you think about resetting yourself.
To do that, in my case, I say something like:
“I’m not anymore Cyril the leader, the speaker, or the trainer. I am now Cyril, the loving and caring husband. I am now Cyril, the loving, caring, and fun father.”
Completely reset your personality so you are 100% focused on your family.
Bonjour, this is Cyril from Work Smarter: Live Better. In this video, I want to share the most important principle of effectiveness.
Let me share some parts of the email I received:
“Hi, Cyril. Thanks for sharing this. And now I want to share something very personal with you.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t disconnect from the office.
There were years when I was working hard in the office, continuing this at home, ignoring my family and especially my wife. My work-life balance was a disaster. I simply did not realise the distance I put between me and my loved ones.
And finally, it happened.
This summer, I divorced my wife.
It hurts a lot. I regret it.
I would do anything to turn back the time and do the right things. To reset the person they see at home, as you very well said.”
I was really, really touched by this email, especially by the courage he showed to share his personal story.
What I can say in response is that I always come back to what, for me, is the number one principle, which is:
Put your big rock first.
Now, let’s be very clear – What is a big rock?
A big rock, for me, represents these four words that are always on my mind:
High impact, long-term.
Or simply put:
“What will have a high impact, long-term at the end of the day? And at the end of my life, what really is important?”
Now, the question is…
How will you know your big rocks?
When I work with leaders on identifying their big rocks, we talk about the business side first. That way, they’ll be very clear on their business’s big rocks.
I get them to choose two or three things that they believe will have a high impact, long-term, on their business.
When they’re clear on that, we talk about their personal life. I ask them:
“What are the two or three things that are your personal big rocks?”
There’s nothing hard about it, you know.
Personal big rocks are quality time with your family and friends…
Your health…
A passion that you have…
It’s never that hard to identify your personal big rocks.
And yet, I hear a lot of leaders tell me:
“Cyril, I have so many balls that I’m trying to juggle – my work, my partner, my kids, my house, my friends, my community. You name it, you have it.
And the description I always have in my mind is not all the balls are equal.
Work is like a bouncy ball. If you drop it, well, it will drop back and you can catch another one.
But some balls are more like eggs. They’re fragile. If you drop them – relationship with your partner, your health, some relationships with friends – They might fall and break.
So, how do I do it? How do I put my personal big rock first?”
Well, the first thing is to plan – yearly, quarterly, weekly, and daily.
As I mentioned in a previous email, what I do is sit down with TK and we plan the year ahead of us. We slot in as many personal big events as we can into our calendars.
Then, every quarter, I choose two or three personal big rocks to accomplish.
I also review my personal routines weekly. So, every week, I look at each of my personal big rocks and ask myself, “What do I need to do next week so I can progress in accomplishing my big rock?” And I put them down in my diary.
Daily, I make sure my time for getting closer to reaching my personal big rock is kept sacred – it’s protected. And I also follow some simple routines, like the one I described in the Reset Your Personality blog – to make sure I have the right focus.
To be precise, I make sure I focus on my personal big rocks.
That’s the key to effectiveness – both personal and business.
So, my question to you is this:
What are you doing to put your personal big rocks first?
This is this week’s Work Smarter: Live Better tip.
You have a lovely day.
A bientôt,
Cyril
